Tuesday, June 14, 2011

(165) workout secrets

Upon observing this lady at the gym today, I learned the secrets to a great workout:

- Be sure to wear a fancy, lacy tank top with little to no support.
- Be sure to wear your "San Francisco" shoulder bag on your shoulder at all times.
- After you're done talking loudly on your cell phone, pull a novel out of your shoulder bag.
- Slow the treadmill down a little so you can read better.
- After about 13 minutes of this at 3.0 speed, stop the treadmill - you're done!

Wait a minute... you're not done after all!

- Show up in my Pilates class.
- Exert a similar amount of effort as shown previously on the treadmill:
* When the instructor says, "squat low" - move in the downward position about 3 millimeters.
* For every five calf raises the instructor does, do one.
* Lay prostrate on your mat during the push-up portion.
* Lay on your back during of the ab portion.
* Lay on your side during the leg lift portion, but don't lift your leg.

- To reward your effort, pack your crap up and leave the class early.


  1. These are the people that wonder why they aren't getting any results when they go to the gym like everyday! They are just equipment hogs!

  2. This is very funny. I laugh to myself when I read it.