Tuesday, June 14, 2011

(165) workout secrets

Upon observing this lady at the gym today, I learned the secrets to a great workout:

- Be sure to wear a fancy, lacy tank top with little to no support.
- Be sure to wear your "San Francisco" shoulder bag on your shoulder at all times.
- After you're done talking loudly on your cell phone, pull a novel out of your shoulder bag.
- Slow the treadmill down a little so you can read better.
- After about 13 minutes of this at 3.0 speed, stop the treadmill - you're done!

6-14-11
Wait a minute... you're not done after all!

NEXT...
- Show up in my Pilates class.
- Exert a similar amount of effort as shown previously on the treadmill:
* When the instructor says, "squat low" - move in the downward position about 3 millimeters.
* For every five calf raises the instructor does, do one.
* Lay prostrate on your mat during the push-up portion.
* Lay on your back during of the ab portion.
* Lay on your side during the leg lift portion, but don't lift your leg.

- To reward your effort, pack your crap up and leave the class early.

2 comments:

  1. These are the people that wonder why they aren't getting any results when they go to the gym like everyday! They are just equipment hogs!

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  2. This is very funny. I laugh to myself when I read it.

    ReplyDelete